#89 - Take a Break from the Computer

Sometimes, you need to take a break from the computer.

Sitting down, looking at a screen, and being immobile just aren’t the way you’re meant to be living.

You’re a human being. You’re meant to move around, be free and express yourself.

And in order to do that, sometimes you just simply need a little break.

Speaking of which, I’ve been at the computer for an hour and a half, so it’s time for a break..


(Stepping away from my computer to play some great music and jump around)

I’m back. Those 6 minutes I just spent dancing around changed the trajectory of my entire day.

Before that break, I was actually in a negative emotional state.

It was subtle, but it was there.

There was fear, there was fatigue, there was overall negativity. Not overwhelming negativity, but subtle negativity.

Which is just as dangerous, because everything starts as subtle and builds from there.

That break gave me the chance to break that pattern.

It gave me the chance to move my body.

It gave me the chance to change my physical and emotional state.

And now I’m back, recharged and rejuvenated, writing from a place of passion.

High performers often have an inherent “GO! GO! GO!” system wired into their brains.

I do, and I’m working hard to balance that out.

Because the “GO! GO! GO!” mentality, while it might make you successful, will hold you back from being fulfilled if you don’t ever learn how to turn it off.

So take a break.

Thanks for reading,


#88 - Let go of the Past

If you’re not careful, the past can negatively affect your present.

The present is going to be as enjoyable as what you’re thinking about, and the past is such a tempting topic to ruminate on.

This rumination, though, often does not serve you.

In fact, this rumination can put you in a low quality state of thinking.

That thinking, in turn, leads to a low quality state of living.

That low quality state of living, in turn, makes you less able to show up as your best self in the world.

Your best self is what the world needs, though.

You need it.

Everyone around you needs it.

Prioritize being in a good state of mind.

The mind may try to keep you stuck in your past.

Don’t let it.

Notice when your mind is in the past.

Notice it.

Then re-focus on something in the present. Like your breath or the physical sensations in your toes.

You got this.

Thanks for reading,


#87 - Trust is a Must

Trust is a must.

It’s a must if you want to get the most out of your relationships.

It’s a must if you want to get the most out of your career.

It’s a must if you want to get the most out of yourself.

For many of us, trust comes easily in certain aspects of our lives.

Some aspects, though, are often harder to trust than others.

For example, one aspect of trust that comes easily to me is trusting others.

I’ve always had a confidence that when people give me their word, they’ll follow through.

That’s not always the case, but it’s still how I go about life (learning from the mistakes as I go).

At the same time, I’ve always had a hard time trusting life.

I’ve always had a hard time feeling like things were going correctly.

I’ve always had a hard time trusting the path I am on.

Trusting the path you’re on gives you a sense of hope and security.

When you’re skeptic about your path, you might experience emotions doubt and sadness.

Doubt and sadness don’t feel nice. For a long time, I wasn’t even aware I was living in these emotions on a consistent basis.

Then, one day two years ago as I was at a workshop or working with my coach (can’t remember exactly), I came to an insight:

“I don’t trust the path I’m on. Something always feels wrong or missing. I’m not optimistic about the future, either”.

That was the day I realized the importance of trusting the path.

Trusting the path is important for many reasons, one of which is simply the good feelings that arise when you are trusting.

Second is the potential for greatness that you unlock when you can trust things are working out correctly.

Even if you’re a trusting person, having trust in the path you’re on can sometimes be a challenge.

If you want a practical exercise to create this trust right now, try this:

  1. Breathing in, say to yourself “I trust my path”

  2. Breathing out, say to yourself “I’m right where I need to be”

  3. Repeat 3-5 times

Thanks for reading,


#86 - Hack the Pleasure/Pain System

Our brains are complex, but they aren’t optimized.

Fortunately, though, our brains are governed by a set of laws.

These laws drive evolution, but don’t optimize evolution.

If you want to optimize your own evolution, that means you want to achieve your potential.

In order to do this, you need to understand your brain is inherently wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

This system helped us evolve and rise to the top of the food chain, but in today’s world, it’s inherent dynamic no longer serves us.

Nowadays, we live in a world where pleasure is readily available (i.e. a snickers bar, social media).

This instant gratification is ruining many people’s lives, though.

People have the ability to chase pleasure and avoid the discomfort of growth.

And that’s a cycle doesn’t take you somewhere pleasant in the end.

If you want to optimize your brain in this world we live in, you must understand the pain/pleasure principle, and then hack it to create the change you want.

In order to do this, you need to decide what you want your own neural associations to be, and then create them.

One example for me has been to associate getting a “no” with a positive neural assocation.

For a long time, I was scared of asking for things that people might say “no” to.

Obviously, as an entrepreneur, this is a hump you need to get over.

So I retrained my brain to have a positive neural association with the word no.

I use practical psychology to get excited about getting a “no”, and I rewarded myself when I get a no.

Similarly, I recently helped a client of mine who is a young CEO to change her neural association with the idea of failure.

To her, failing in any little way felt like it was the end of the world. The end of her business. The death of her dream.

I helped her to see this pattern in herself, and then we developed strategies that allowed her to get excited about failure in the pursuit of the ultimate success of her dream.

The pain/pleasure principle is the single most important concept a human interested in personal development needs to master.

Do you want to work with me on mastering this principle in your own life?

If it’s a “hell yes”, go here and submit the form at the bottom of the page

If not, I’m equally as excited about your “no”.

Thanks for reading,


#85 - Freedom from the Mind's Chains

Your mind is holding you back.

It’s holding you back because it’s designed to do that.

It’s designed as a survival mechanism.

This mechanism is complex, and if you study it you discover that it actually isn’t designed to maximize your success or joy in life.

It’s designed to keep you safe.

Safety, in terms of evolution, is the most important thing.

But what the mind isn’t aware of is that humans have moved past the point of basic safety.

This safety mechanism of the mind, that was developed in different conditions (for example, before humans were at the top of the food chain), is still in play.

And this safety mechanism is holding you back.

It’s holding you back from doing those things that scare you, because your mind is literally identifying it as a threat to your life.

For example, I’m currently in a phase of telling the world that I’m a life coach.

I came to this decision a few months back, and it’s very exciting to be doing this, but it’s still scary because I have to call people and tell them.

I try to connect with at least one person a day, but every time I pick up the phone to dial someone, my mind’s fear mechanism starts to kick in.

“What if they don’t want to hear about that….They’re already a busy person….You haven’t spoken in a year, it’d be weird to reconnect…”

And that is the mind trying to protect me.

It’s trying to protect me from the potential situation of pain, where a phone call doesn’t go well.

And that fear, that mind state, is precisely the thing that holds most people back from pursuing their dreams, whether that dream is finding love, building a business, making new friends, etc.

Want to hear some good news?

By training your mind, and your emotional states, you can become the captain of the ship.

You can build a mind that notices when you’re in a fear-state and auto-corrects you into a positive emotional state where you can take action.

This power isn’t the power of positive thinking.

I don’t believe that by going to your garden and chanting “There’s no weeds..there’s no weeds…” That you’re going to change your life.

It takes knowledge and consistent action to change the way your mind works.

That’s what we work on in coaching.

We work on redefining what you believe is possible. We work on identifying mental and emotional patterns that you’re living in. Patterns that are holding you back.

And then we crush them.

We break the patterns that don’t serve you and replace them with new ones.

It’s a fun process, and you don’t need a coach to do it.

You can start by doing it on your own.

Start by noticing what emotional states you’re living in day to day. You have a “home” state that you go back to most often. See if you can identify it, then ask yourself, is this state the state I want my home to be?

If not, don’t worry.

You have the power to change things.

Start today.

Thanks for reading,


#84 - How to Find Your Passion

The expression “follow your passion” is often given as advice, but for many the process of finding it is no easy journey.

Matter of fact, the pressure to find your passion can become a burden.

When you have a desire to live a passionate life, but don’t know where to start with finding your passion, that creates a feeling of being stuck.

Feeling stuck is an emotional state of suffering, and it’s my goal to help people suffer less.

So I’ll share some personal experience on how I’ve gotten un-stuck in the past.

The key to finding your passion is self-awareness.

Self awareness is the degree to which you know yourself, your patterns, your strengths and weaknesses.

Over the last 7 and a half years I went deep on self awareness, and it wasn’t easy.

Becoming self-aware isn’t a yellow brick road - it’s a journey of ups and downs.

You discover amazing things about yourself that you never realized. For me, discovering that empathy was a major talent of mine was a shocking surprise I had to grow into, but once I realized its potential, it was exciting.

You also discover terrifying things about yourself that you never realized. I realized I had limiting beliefs about my capabilities as an entrepreneur. I didn’t believe I would ever find true love. There’s all kinds of beliefs deep down that hold us back.

But the brave few who are willing to walk that road - those are the people who create the most passionate lives.

If you’re ready to unlock your greatness and step into your passion, then you’re hungry.

And the good news is that hunger is the single most important component to you finding your passion.

If you’re hungry to find your passion, rest calmy in the fact that you are already on your way. By adding some strategies to your current plan, you can increase the speed of trajectory.

If you’re not hungry to find your passion, that’s okay too. I hope one day you do get hungry, because the world needs your gifts!

In order to take more concrete steps towards finding your passion, start by going inwards.

It sounds silly, but it’s the path I recommend.

Spend some time alone. Small increments to begin with.

Then do two things:

  1. Dedicate time to watching your mind. Meditation is a great way to do this.

  2. Hold in your mind your desire to live your life’s dream as often as you can. Get excited about it. Create the emotional state in yourself that you want to experience in the future. By generating this emotional state now, your brain locks into it and then starts to create that reality for you.

If you’re longing to do this and want some help, I invite you to look into coaching. For me, coaching took me from a slow acceleration to light speed.

Thanks for reading,


#83 - Focus is Everything

What do you want in life?

Pause for a minute and ask yourself that question.

Whatever it is that you want, your ability to get it comes down to one thing: Focus

Focus is everything.

What we focus on creates the outcomes we manifest in life.

If you want to maximize you ability to manifest the outcomes you desire, you first must hone your focus.

If your focus isn’t honed, I hate to tell you this but you aren’t consciously creating the outcomes in your life to the best of your ability.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Some people would rather go with the flow and see what life gives them.

Other people desire to maximize their potential and consciously maximize their direction on the outcomes they create.

If you’re reading this right now, I’m guessing you fall into the camp of people who want to maximize conscious direction.

I’m giving you a virtual hi-5 right now for being that way, because it’s not easy.

But it’s SO worth it.

It’s worth it because the place you want to go truly is probably more enjoyable than the place your mind will take you on it’s own. The mind has its own desires, and they’re not usually aligned with your heart or spirit. They’re not usually aligned with your calling.

This is because the mind is an evolutionary hardware that adapted to help us survive. That was the number 1 priority. That’s its primary function.

So most of the time, the mind is operating in survival mode. Which is often centered around evolutionary needs like fight/flight/freeze and procreate.

In today’s world, there are consequences to letting the minds evolutionary hardware run your life.

Here’s an example.

As I sat down to right this blog post today, I remembered that I hadn’t pulled my bitcoin out of the market yet. Then I remembered that my financial advisor hadn’t responded to my emails in days.

All of a sudden I got hit with a state of fear/frustration.

My mind was trying to protect me.

“Security. Security. Security”. That’s what my mind was telling me. “Security is the number 1 priority! You should pull out of Bitcoin RIGHT NOW and send an email RIGHT NOW to your advisor”.

And I almost went to do those things. Because in that moment, they felt like the most important thing in the world.

But then I caught myself lost, focusing on something I wasn’t consciously directing.

And in that moment where you catch yourself, you have the opportunity to re-direct your focus.

I said something to myself along the lines of “I opened my laptop with the intention to write a blog post and serve others, so that’s what I’m going to do”.

And here I am.

Had I let my subconscious mind direct my focus, I would probably be frustrated right now trying to figure out this bitcoin and advisor situation.
Instead, I’m calm and I’m writing. I’ll put some time on my calendar to take care of that stuff this week. It’s really not that urgent.


The path to what you want lies in your ability to consistently focus on, and take action towards, that which you want.

Take responsibility for your focus.

You don’t need to solve your focus problem in 1 day. Please don’t try. That’s impossible.

Focus is a muscle, and you must begin to work it every day if you want it to get better.

The only way you’ll do that is if you start. And to do that, you must acknowledge that you aren’t satisfied with the outcomes you’re currently on track to create.

It’s a never-ending pursuit of getting better.

It sounds daunting, but once you lock in, it becomes quite fun.

If you want to start honing your focus today, start right now.

Ask yourself, “what do I want to focus on today?”

Then do it. Experiment. Let me know how it goes!

Thanks for reading,


#82 - Master Your Stress

Stress is inevitable.

Every human experiences stress. It’s a part of life.

It always has been and it always will be.

Stress typically doesn’t feel good.

The key to high performance, though, isn’t eliminating stress from your life.

It’s mastering your response to stress.

If you’re a high performer, you likely experience stress frequently.

You also probably agree that it’s a blessing and a curse.

It drives you to succeed, but it also causes you to suffer.

But it doesn’t have to be a painful oscillation between success and suffering.

The solution is to find a middle ground, which you can do by mastering your response to stress.

This is important, because the way you respond to stress creates outcomes in your life.

And the outcomes you create, over time, cumulatively create your overall life path.

If you want to maximize this one life, it’s critical to learn how to turn your stress into a strength.

This requires the development of your internal toolkit. Eventually, you can reach the point where you can completely manage your stress levels.

Want to know the secret to doing this?

It’s the breath.

If you can control your breathing, you can control your stress.

Using the breath, you can work yourself out of a stressed state in less than 30 seconds.

But it’s a skill that you need to cultivate.

Practice taking 10 long, deep breaths at least once a day, every day.

If you practice every day, you’ll gradually develop this useful skill and turn stress from an enemy into an ally.

Hope you make some progress today!

Thanks for reading,


#81 - Look for Little Miracles Unfolding

Our brains are like computers.

And our brain-computers aren’t updating as fast as the world around us is.

For thousands of years, the human brain slowly developed while external circumstances stayed the same.

And humans were able to thrive in these settings, or at least manage themselves effectively.

Nowadays, however all bets are off.

Our external circumstances are changing faster than ever before, and our brains simply can’t keep up.

It’s like trying to use the first ever macbook on dial up internet to run a technology business in 2019.

It just ain’t workin.

Our brains literally can’t keep up. And this is causing huge problems that really aren’t being talked about enough.

Depression rates are soaring.

Suicide rates are soaring.

Obesity rates are soaring.

These things are all linked to people’s inability to keep up with the rapid change.

If you feel like you’re in this boat, please don’t feel bad about yourself. Literally everyone is just trying to keep their head above the water.

Fortunately, you aren’t helpless. There are tools and strategies you can employ to build a brain right now that not only leads to your happiness, but also leads to your professional success.

The trick, my friend, is to start building a better brain.

That’s right, you actually have to build it.

You have to build a brain that stays focused on presence, optimism, courage, or whatever it is you want to cultivate.

The brain works exactly like a muscle - the neurons that fire together wire together - so you can actually do this.

The key is to change what you focus on.

Most of the time you’re focusing on whatever subconsciously seems to be the most important.

We’re all guilty of this. It’s the human condition.

The trick is to maximize the time you spend having your brain in an intentional state of mind.

To get you started, at any point in time, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask your brain, “look for the little miracles unfolding right now”.

This tip comes from Olivia Fox Cabane’s book The Charisma Myth, and I just read it last night.

“Look for the little miracles unfolding right now”

It could be your breath, the ability to move, the fact that your eyes work, whatever miracles you can find.

Focusing on the miracles is a huge improvement from focusing subconsciously on things that might not be so helpful.

Hope this helps!



#80- Love Surrounds You!

For much of my life I’ve had a deep longing to be in love.

You know, that quintessential feeling that you’re with the person who “completes” you.

The same goes with the dream job.

That dream job that that completes you.

This theme plays itself out so often in life.

You feel incomplete, and it feels like there’s something out there that completes you, but you don’t know what that thing is or how to get there.

Whether it’s your career, your love life, or another realm that you’re feeling this in, there’s one thing I know: I feel you on this!

Like I said, this theme played out for much of my life.

Despite being surrounded by the love of my family, friends, and even a few girlfriends at different points of my life, for much of the time I’ve had this deep longing for romantic love.

I experienced it in one relationship, but it wasn’t true love.

Despite being in a relationship of mutual adoration, there was always something missing, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

That missing ingredient is why the relationship didn’t work, and it’s what sent me on a quest to realize that which I was missing.

I started that quest 5 years ago.

Then last night I had the realization I set out to find.

It was at the end of my yoga class, during Savasana (corpse pose) where you let everything go and just relax.

And while I’d love to tell you that I was totally relaxed, the truth is that I was hoping I’d meet a cute girl who I’d connect with deeply at the end of the class.

Because I was, like so many times before, carrying that feeling of lacking love. I didn’t realize it consciously, but subconsciously I was hoping to meet the person who was going to make me feel love.

Funny enough, that feeling of “lack” is what actually was keeping me from finding it all along.

So I’m lying there, totally relaxed, and all of a sudden I get that feeling where you can tell something is about to be released from you.

Those familiar with deep inner work know this feeling.

It’s that moment where some deep sh** that has been covered up in you for a long time is about to be released.

For me, this feeling is always accompanied by tears.

I’m lying there with my eyes closed, tears streaming slowly down my face, when all of a sudden the insight hits me:

I’m surrounded by the love at all times!

It’s a love that isn’t dependent on other things or other people.

It’s the love that is fundamental to the laws of the universe. It’s a love that surrounds all people (yes, that’s you) at all times.

Call it what you want to. Different people call it different things such as the love of God, Jesus, Buddha, The Universe, etc.

It doesn’t matter what you believe the love comes from.

The point is that love is there, and it surrounds you at all times.

You don’t have to look anywhere else. You just have to feel it and know it.

This insight hit me like a pound of bricks.

I want to pause and acknowledge that.

Out of all the suffering I’ve done in my life, this was one of the most critical moments of realization. That deep-seated belief that the love I wanted was outside me was the FUNDAMENTAL reason why I wasn’t feeling or attracting the love I wanted.

Funny enough, walking home from yoga, feeling that sense of abundant love already surrounding me, I met a girl who I actually did connect deeply with, and we’re grabbing coffee next week.

It’s funny how that works, isn’t it? It’s like the very insight I realized then played itself out exactly how the lesson was supposed to.

Once you’re already feeling love, you start to attract more connection, more awesome people, into your life.

The same theme is true about the career.

Having worked hard in the corporate world for 3 years, I’ve always felt an underlying sense that I wasn’t free.

I’ve spent so much time wondering and reflecting...what is the perfect job out there that will give me these feelings that I want?

And while I do think there are certainly careers that will fulfill us, the same message rings true: you can have the feelings you want from your dream career before you figure out exactly what it is.

You want that passion, that freedom to be doing exactly what you want to be doing, that feeling of elation that comes from “finding it”.

And I’m here to tell you that if you first find the feeling that you want, and you create that feeling in your life right now, the rest will work itself out much faster. This process is often called “manifesting”. It sounds woo-woo, but from my personal experience it’s actually legit.

Anyways, thinking about the career aspect of this on my walk home from yoga, I realized another insight: “you are already free”. It wasn’t the job that was holding me back from feeling freedom. It was my belief that I had to be doing the job. I felt trapped all along, whereas in reality I always have freedom. I always have access to that feeling I thought was lying outside me in the “dream job”.

Don’t get me wrong though, external things matter.

I believe in true love and I believe in dream careers where you live your heart’s passion every day.

I simply also believe that part of true love, part of that dream career, comes down to the mind state you have about it.

It comes down to the feelings you carry right now.

Your internal inputs are likely WAY more important than you realize.

So as you go on, passionately pursuing that which you so desire, I have two words of encouragement:

  1. You already have access to those feelings that you want to get from that thing (love, career, etc) that you’re gunning after.

  2. KEEP THE PEDAL TO THE MEDAL on both the internal work and the external work. Your dream destination depends on a relentless pursuit of both.

What would today feel like if you already had all the things you wanted?

Try to feel that today. Be playful about it. See what happens.



#79 - Get Excited about the “No”!

The word “No” is a scary word.

It’s a scary word because it is often tied to rejection.
And rejection is an uncomfortable feeling.
This feeling, which over time we learn to associate with pain, is something most people do their best to avoid.
But avoiding this word keeps you playing small.
Playing small in life is fine, but it’s not something high performers are interested in.
High performers are ambitious people who have an innate interest in achieving their greatest potential.
If you want to achieve your greatest potential, “No” is a word you have to become comfortable with.
Anyone who had been extremely successful in business has inevitably experienced their fair share of no’s.
The question, then, is how do you retrain your brain to get excited about getting a “no”?
One method is to make a game out of it!
Games are fun, and when you’re playing a game, the stakes don’t feel so high.
So if you’re playing a game to get no’s, with getting no’s as the objective, then it doesn’t feel crappy when you get a no.
It feels good!
It also feels good when you get a yes.
So rather than a win/lose situation, it becomes a win/win.
Don’t let a fear of getting a no hold you back from stepping into greatness.
Get excited about the “No”!
That mindstate will lead you to get a “Yes” much more often.


#78 - Two Things Holding You Back

There are two things (among others) that hold almost every human back from reaching their greatest potential:

  1. The stories they tell themselves

  2. The questions they ask themselves

If you want to achieve your biggest dreams and goals, it’s important to recognize the importance of both stories and questions.

The human brain isn’t wired to optimize either, so if you want to achieve your greatest help, you have to make a conscious effort in both areas.

Common stories in high performers are thoughts like “I don’t have enough”, or “When I get ______, then I’ll be happy”. These same questions, which create negative energy and can make you unhappy, are also the fuel for your fire. It’s a double edged sword - the stories that make you suffer are also the stores that help you achieve great things.

Common questions in high performers are often “How do I get everything done in as little time as possible” or “What must I do to be the very best I can be”?

Most of the time, most people aren’t conscious of the stories or the questions they’re asking themselves.

And both deserve explicit attention.

It’s hard to turn the mirror on yourself to identify the stories and questions you tell yourself because they are often in your blind spots.

If you want to become more conscious about the thoughts and stories you have, I recommend 3 separate approaches.

  1. Develop Self awareness with meditation: This allows you to become more aware of the stories you’re telling yourself. It empowers you to have more control.

  2. Work with a coach who can help you see your blind spots and live into more powerful questions: This is a critical step to making exponential progress. You can do a lot on your own, but a great coach will inevitably help you accelerate that growth.

  3. Consciously re-write your questions and beliefs: Don’t sit back and see where the ride takes you. Become intentional. What question  do you need to be asking yourself right now? What beliefs do you want to have for yourself? Write them down. This is essentially coaching yourself.

All three approaches are important, and the greatest impact comes from a combination of all 3.

Have fun living into bigger possibilities. This is supposed to be fun :).



#77 - Let Go, Be Here, Move Forward

Obsessing over the past normally doesn’t do you any good.

Despite this, so many of us do it.

Why is that?

It’s part of our DNA.

Learning from the past was an evolutionary adaptation that helped us learn from our mistakes.

It can still a helpful thing to do, in moderation.

But sometimes you do it too much.

You get stuck on the past, to the point where it’s causing you pain and not serving you.

As an example, I normally eat healthy but Sundays I have a “cheat day” (I got this idea from Dwayne The Rock Johnson).

Yesterday morning I had a meal that CRUSHED me. Breakfast burrito AND a full order of French Toast.

And that messed me up.

First thing I had to do after that meal was sleep.

As a result of my eating choices yesterday I felt crummy most of the day, and I even felt crummy this morning.

On top of that, even though it was a cheat day, and I had given myself permission to do it, I was being really hard on myself for choosing the food that I did.

I wasn’t letting go of my past action.

Instead, I was holding onto it. Ruminating over it. And this was causing even more suffering.

So how do I let go?

The key to letting go is to be here.

When you’re here, focused on the present, you can’t be caught up in the past.

Your mind can’t be two places at once.

And being in the present is a good thing, because it’s the space in which you can take action.

It’s the space in which you can move forward.

Let go.

Be here now.

Move forward.

When you can consistently follow those three steps, you move closer to achieving your dreams.

#76- Unlock Your Body’s Wisdom

There is an intelligence in your body that is thousands of years old.

It’s one of the most useful tools you can use to make good decisions and enjoy life more.

But many people people aren’t using this tool, and they’re missing out.

They’re making decisions only with their head!

In particular, they’re using the part of the brain known as the pre-frontal Cortex.

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that developed most recently in the course of human evolution.

Before human beings developed a strong prefrontal cortex, they were more simple animals.

Rather than thinking decisions through logically, they made decisions purely based off emotions, using a part of the brain called the amygdala.

This was okay because times were simpler.

But today’s world is much more complex.

Nowadays, humans have both the amygdala and prefrontal cortex operating at the same time.

And most people aren’t using them in a good balance.

For most of my life, I was completely unaware that my emotions were data I could use to make better decisions.

I was using only logic to think through decisions, which often left me trapped in my head and stuck in “analysis paralysis”.

When I learned from my coach the power of emotional data, my whole world flipped upside down.

All of a sudden, I realized that I was spending too much energy and time in my head.

I realized I could make better decisions by listening to my body.

That’s when I started tuning into my body, and learning more about emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is about understanding your feelings and using them to create the outcomes you desire in life.

In order to unlock more emotional intelligence, you have to be connected to your body and understand what you are feeling.

When you can accurately perceive emotions arising in real time, you can use that as data to guide your decisions.

Then, once you are in tune with your body’s intelligence, you can combine it with your logic.

That’s when you take your brain to new levels of capability.

Pay attention to what’s going on in your body.

It just might be the thing you need to focus on to create that outcome you want so badly.



#75 - Be Kinder to Yourself

Would you say that you’re a kind person?

I bet you are.

I bet you do nice things for people on the regular.

I bet you’re a great friend who is quick to comfort a friend going through a tough time.

But are you kind to yourself?

Most high performers aren’t kind to themselves.

If this is you, I bet you hold yourself to high standards.

There’s always more you could be doing, and you never feel like you’re doing enough.

This is often how it feels to be me.

It’s a double edged sword. A blessing and a curse.

The high performer mentality leads you to achieve extraordinary things.

These accomplishments, though, don’t provide the lasting fulfillment.

And that lasting fulfillment is what is driving us high performers, deep down.

So often, we focus on the future and don’t worry about how the present feels.

This is one of our basements.

The most successful high performers in my opinion are the ones who learn to enjoy all aspects of the ride.

And you do this by being kind to yourself.

Don’t always criticize yourself for what you aren’t doing.

Sometimes, take a day to pat yourself on the back.

Because there’s still a part of you that’s a little kid who just wants to mess around and have fun.

You’re doing great. So be kind to yourself and keep your head up.



#74 - Turn your Challenge into Fun

If you’re a high performer, chances are you face new challenges every day.

That’s because high performers aren’t okay with settling.

Settling isn’t in your DNA.

Regardless of your DNA, challenges present themselves in different forms.

Sometime we create them for ourselves. Sometimes life creates a challenge for us.

Today I’ll talk about the challenges we create for ourselves, and in particular how to make them fun.

So how do you make a challenge fun?

I’m so glad you asked!

In order to make a challenge fun, you can follow four steps (I recommend writing them down):

  1. Result: Determine the result you want to create

  2. Why: Get clear on why you want to make that result happen

  3. Plan: Create an action plan to get there

  4. Play: Think about it as a game

For example, let’s pretend your challenge is that you want to get more fulfillment out of your day job. Let’s go through some example steps

  1. Result = I want more joy in my job

  2. Why =  When I feel more joy I’m able to enjoy life and make a greater impact on others

  3. Plan = I’m going to take 5 minutes every hour to move my body and focus on gratitude

  4. Play = I’m going to make this FUN! I’ll challenge myself to make a game out of keeping a positive mindstate. When I catch myself thinking negatively, I earn a point.

So why should I invest energy to do this gamification of my life?

I believe that successfully implementing this methodology into your life on a daily basis will bring more happiness and success.

Navigating challenges isn’t easy, especially when you’re going through it blind, just waiting to come out of it.

Don’t let challenges be the captain of the ship.

You are the captain, and you are in control.

Happy sailing!



#73 - What if you could not fail?

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do with your life?

It’s a big question, and it is seldom one we think about.

It’s an aspirational question.

It that takes us out of the realm of what we know and into the realm of what could be.

And the realm of what could be is the space where dreams are created.

If we don’t ever think about what could be, there is zero chance you will ever get there.

You can’t create what you haven’t thought about.

You have to reverse engineer it.

So dream big. Define what your ideal destination would be. Get clear on your vision.

That’s the first step. Don’t worry about how you’ll get there yet..

If you’re ready to take massive action, I invite you to journal a response.

This exercise will help you move closer to discovering and fulfilling your dreams.

Set a timer for 3 minutes and don’t let yourself stop writing until that timer is up (even if you have to write “I don’t know what to write, I don’t know what to write…”).

Don’t stop writing until the timer is up.

Here’s the prompt:

If I could not fail, I would……………

Most importantly, have fun doing this!



#72 - Free Yourself from Unnecessary Suffering

I'm guessing that you’re experiencing some form of pain in your life these days.

And I’m here to tell ya that I am too.

The Buddha said “life is suffering”, and this was one of his biggest insights.

We all experience suffering in life.

Suffering actually plays a bigger role than many of us realize.

Our behaviors are driven by suffering, because with every choice we make our brain is trying to attain pleasure and avoid suffering.

The thing that most people don’t realize is that we have a high degree of control over how much we suffer.

Suffering is like a muscle.

When your brain is constantly thinking about fears, losing things, having less of things, etc. what follows are states of suffering.

Conversely, if your brain is constantly focused on things like gratitude, hope, and generally optimistic thoughts, what follows are beautiful states of being.

The hard part is that most of these thoughts are operating under your conscious awareness.

They’re happening so quickly that you might miss them.

But these thoughts are critically important. Because they produce emotional states.

And the emotions we experience are the dictators of whether were in a beautiful state or a suffering state.

We all have potential to improve the quality of our lives by focusing on improving our internal game.

The reason we focus on external things (that dream job, that relationship, whatever) is because we want the feelings we think they’ll create.

The secret, though, is that you have the power to create whatever feelings you want.

If you want to gain this power, you must do three things:

  1. Decide you will master it

  2. Master your body

  3. Master your thoughts

It takes commitment and hard work, but you can do it.

I’m here to support you as you do!



#71 - How to take MASSIVE Action

One of my core philosophies on personal development is that MASSIVE ACTION is essential.

What is massive action?

Massive action is taking a courageous step forward.

One courageous step is all it takes.

Most people don’t take massive action because they make it more complex than it needs to be.

They don’t think about one courageous step..

They think about the fifty steps it will take to get to the other side of action.

For example, yesterday I knew I wanted to tell at least one new person about my coaching business to spread the word and hopefully find someone who could benefit from my service.

After the end of a long work day, the idea of mustering up the willpower to call someone was very low.

My mind started thinking about all the steps that I would need to take. My mind was looking for excuses.

“Well you’ve gotta call someone, and maybe they pick up or maybe they don’t, and then you’re gonna have to explain what you do, and they might not be in a position to benefit from that service, and maybe they don’t want to talk that bad, and yada yada yada…”

You see, the mind often tries to stop you from taking action.

Because it’s trying to protect you.

Deep down, my mind was trying to protect me. It didn’t want to feel the pain of rejection, which through my experiences has come to be linked as painful.

Here’s the important thing to know: The Mind is trying to protect you, not always in service of your bigger goals.

In this, sometimes the thing that scares you most is exactly what you need to do.

So I caught myself. I realized I was thinking 50 steps, versus 1 step.

And I took 1 step.

I called one person. No answer. Called another. No answer. Called another. No answer.

Five calls, no answer. Left some voicemails.

But I took massive action. And the cool thing about massive action is that it builds on itself!

I ended up going to the gym, and while I was there I saw a cute girl who looked my age who I hadn’t seen before.

Normally I would have probably gone about my workout without saying anything, but as a result of momentum from my earlier massive action, it was easier than normal to take action again. So I did what scared me. I introduced myself.

After introducing myself, it turned out we were the exact same age, she went to college with my brother, and we also had a mutual friend.

And when I told that mutual friend about meeting this new girl, he immediately called me.

And on that call, I got the opportunity to accomplish my original goal: to tell a friend about my coaching business. It turns out he was in a career transition, and was eager to do an exploratory coaching session with me.

Thus, the original goal was accomplished in a route I wasn’t expecting! All because of massive action.

You may be asking, how do I know what massive action is for me right now?

My short answer is to ask yourself what scares you right now. There is probably a big clue in that.

Remember, your brain is trying to protect you, not necessarily help you achieve your goals.

You might also be asking, how do I motivate myself to take massive action right now?

To this, I say first change your state. SHAKE THINGS UP. Move around. Blast your favorite music. GET EXCITED.

You won’t be motivated to take massive action if you’re in a low energy state.

You also won’t be as successful in your massive action, which will probably make you not want to take massive action again in the future.

To sum it up..

Dig into your fears.

Identify the action you want to take.

Change your internal state.

Then jump in.

It may or may not go smoothly, but it’ll move you forward.

Here’s to getting better every day.


#70 - How to do Deep Coaching

The coaching industry has a challenge: low barriers to entry.

Anyone can say their a coach, but not everyone is a good coach.

A coach is not a commodity. One coach is not equal to the next.

Some coaches have spent thousands of hours honing their craft, while others choose to be a coach because it sounds convenient for them.

Furthermore, even if you’ve found a great coach, they might not necessarily be a great coach for you.

It’s like that old saying: “different strokes for different folks”

The stroke of coaching in which I operate is called Deep Coaching.

It’s called Deep Coaching because we go deep (not surprisingly). We go into the depths of your mind, and we play there.

We consider possibilities that seem impossible.

We challenge beliefs that may seem concrete.

We engage in a deeper level of connection than is normally experienced.

And that is where my gifts are: in connecting deeply with others.

It is through these deep connections with others that insights are uncovered.

Insights that can shock your world.

But it isn’t easy to get there.

It isn’t easy as a client or a coach.

As a coach, there are a few key things to keep in mind:

First, you’re not there to present answers to your client. That’s what a consultant does. Rather, you’re there to listen and feel.

You listen deeply, to both the client and your own internal states. You have to be empathetic so you can gain perspective of what your client is experiencing.

At the same time, you need to be perceptive of what feelings you are experiencing.

Because your feelings are the internal compass for how to coach someone else.

Second, the point of deep coaching is to help your client get to new, and deeper, emotional states that they probably aren’t accustomed to feeling.

By helping someone get to a new state, you plant the seeds for insights. Insights often come in altered states.

Third, a coach does not please. A coach serves. Even when you have to say the thing that your client doesn’t want to hear. You’re not here to make your client feel good, you’re there to help them get the results they want.

Coaches play a key piece in the evolution of humankind because they help people unlock their greatness.

And the only way we’re going to improve things on this planet is if more people start stepping into their greatness.

Time to step up, because you’re here to contribute to the world. Your work matters.

Thanks for being here.