For much of my life I’ve had a deep longing to be in love.
You know, that quintessential feeling that you’re with the person who “completes” you.
The same goes with the dream job.
That dream job that that completes you.
This theme plays itself out so often in life.
You feel incomplete, and it feels like there’s something out there that completes you, but you don’t know what that thing is or how to get there.
Whether it’s your career, your love life, or another realm that you’re feeling this in, there’s one thing I know: I feel you on this!
Like I said, this theme played out for much of my life.
Despite being surrounded by the love of my family, friends, and even a few girlfriends at different points of my life, for much of the time I’ve had this deep longing for romantic love.
I experienced it in one relationship, but it wasn’t true love.
Despite being in a relationship of mutual adoration, there was always something missing, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
That missing ingredient is why the relationship didn’t work, and it’s what sent me on a quest to realize that which I was missing.
I started that quest 5 years ago.
Then last night I had the realization I set out to find.
It was at the end of my yoga class, during Savasana (corpse pose) where you let everything go and just relax.
And while I’d love to tell you that I was totally relaxed, the truth is that I was hoping I’d meet a cute girl who I’d connect with deeply at the end of the class.
Because I was, like so many times before, carrying that feeling of lacking love. I didn’t realize it consciously, but subconsciously I was hoping to meet the person who was going to make me feel love.
Funny enough, that feeling of “lack” is what actually was keeping me from finding it all along.
So I’m lying there, totally relaxed, and all of a sudden I get that feeling where you can tell something is about to be released from you.
Those familiar with deep inner work know this feeling.
It’s that moment where some deep sh** that has been covered up in you for a long time is about to be released.
For me, this feeling is always accompanied by tears.
I’m lying there with my eyes closed, tears streaming slowly down my face, when all of a sudden the insight hits me:
I’m surrounded by the love at all times!
It’s a love that isn’t dependent on other things or other people.
It’s the love that is fundamental to the laws of the universe. It’s a love that surrounds all people (yes, that’s you) at all times.
Call it what you want to. Different people call it different things such as the love of God, Jesus, Buddha, The Universe, etc.
It doesn’t matter what you believe the love comes from.
The point is that love is there, and it surrounds you at all times.
You don’t have to look anywhere else. You just have to feel it and know it.
This insight hit me like a pound of bricks.
I want to pause and acknowledge that.
Out of all the suffering I’ve done in my life, this was one of the most critical moments of realization. That deep-seated belief that the love I wanted was outside me was the FUNDAMENTAL reason why I wasn’t feeling or attracting the love I wanted.
Funny enough, walking home from yoga, feeling that sense of abundant love already surrounding me, I met a girl who I actually did connect deeply with, and we’re grabbing coffee next week.
It’s funny how that works, isn’t it? It’s like the very insight I realized then played itself out exactly how the lesson was supposed to.
Once you’re already feeling love, you start to attract more connection, more awesome people, into your life.
The same theme is true about the career.
Having worked hard in the corporate world for 3 years, I’ve always felt an underlying sense that I wasn’t free.
I’ve spent so much time wondering and reflecting...what is the perfect job out there that will give me these feelings that I want?
And while I do think there are certainly careers that will fulfill us, the same message rings true: you can have the feelings you want from your dream career before you figure out exactly what it is.
You want that passion, that freedom to be doing exactly what you want to be doing, that feeling of elation that comes from “finding it”.
And I’m here to tell you that if you first find the feeling that you want, and you create that feeling in your life right now, the rest will work itself out much faster. This process is often called “manifesting”. It sounds woo-woo, but from my personal experience it’s actually legit.
Anyways, thinking about the career aspect of this on my walk home from yoga, I realized another insight: “you are already free”. It wasn’t the job that was holding me back from feeling freedom. It was my belief that I had to be doing the job. I felt trapped all along, whereas in reality I always have freedom. I always have access to that feeling I thought was lying outside me in the “dream job”.
Don’t get me wrong though, external things matter.
I believe in true love and I believe in dream careers where you live your heart’s passion every day.
I simply also believe that part of true love, part of that dream career, comes down to the mind state you have about it.
It comes down to the feelings you carry right now.
Your internal inputs are likely WAY more important than you realize.
So as you go on, passionately pursuing that which you so desire, I have two words of encouragement:
You already have access to those feelings that you want to get from that thing (love, career, etc) that you’re gunning after.
KEEP THE PEDAL TO THE MEDAL on both the internal work and the external work. Your dream destination depends on a relentless pursuit of both.
What would today feel like if you already had all the things you wanted?
Try to feel that today. Be playful about it. See what happens.